My world is made of flypaper

Thank you, thank you for all the chicken suggestions! I can look forward to eating again.

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Crushing heat and humidity here lately. I like to say it's like living in a bowl of hot jello. The children were little hellions today. No fault of their own, but when I'm hot and sticky, it's very hard to be patient with them.

It's not actually THAT hot (for me, anyway), but oh my, the humidity. I don't remember a summer like this since I was in junior high. Everything is damp to the touch. And sticky. Like elves run through our house every night, brushing every surface with rubber cement. Worst magical elves ever.

Yesterday I was upstairs putting laundry away when I heard frantic screams downstairs. I came running down the stairs, didn't see Grace anywhere. So I went into the kitchen, where the poor thing was perched on a chair. The seat was so sticky she couldn't get off the chair. Hilarious now, but then it was pitiful.

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Why do I choose the most horrible days to go on cooking and cleaning rampages? A few weeks ago, when it got into the 90s, I decided to spend all day cooking up a huge batch of bolognese sauce to freeze. It's not a lot of work, but it has to simmer on the stove for hours.

Idiot.

Then yesterday, I decided the upstairs had gone far too long without vacuuming, and it had to be done RIGHT THEN. This on top of the laundry I had running all day (side note: dryers kick up a lot of heat! who knew?). This meant moving all the furniture in the girls' rooms, then moving it all back. Then I noticed all the dust on the window sills and radiators. So I wiped everything down with Pine-Sol. Which brought to attention the abysmal state of the bathroom floor. I scrubbed that down with hot water and Pine-Sol, too. And then the bathroom counter and mirror and toilet. The stairs were looking pretty sorry, too, so I got them.

It's been a long time since I last vacuumed up there. This took a while.

Moron.

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Speaking of vacuuming, I bought a little handheld cordless vacuum a couple of weeks ago. It is AWESOME. It has a brushy head thinger, even. So I can vacuum my stairs without lugging the entire upright vacuum up and down the stairs (the attachments on my upright are slightly more useless than the thing itself). If the brushy head thinger weren't so tiny, I'd be vacuuming all the carpets with it; it's about six times as powerful as my regular vacuum.

Since I got it, I've been making up reasons to use it. A single Cheerio on the floor? Must get the vacuum! Oops, I "accidentally" dropped that wad of paper. Must get the vacuum! Months-old spiderwebs in the corner that have been too scary before? The new vacuum gives me courage! Out of things to vacuum in my newly sterile environment? COME HERE CAT I HAVE PRESENT FOR YOU.

Cat does not appreciate the newest member of the household.

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Oh look! It's midnight! Probably should have gone to bed an hour ago. But once the kids are down (8 for Grace, 9ish for Emmy), James and I are all, wooo! video games! fun! TV! and go to bed way too late. This is why we're tired all the time.

Numbskulls.

That and even when I do go to bed on time, I lie awake, usually itching. I always itch when I can't sleep. This sounds really gross, I know, but it has nothing to do with sanitation and everything to do with being a neurotic insomniac. And breastfeeding means I can't take anything good to help me sleep except melatonin. Which is okay, but it's kind of the baby Tylenol of the sleep aid world.

Also, the sheets (even freshly washed and dried!) are always just slightly damp in this weather. And what is more disturbing and uncomfortable than damp sheets, I ask you?

Yeah. Time for bed. Before I say anything that's even more creepy than damp sheets.

(at least I didn't say "moist!")