Wednesday, February 20, 2013

I will eventually shut up about that

It suddenly occurred to me that maybe my kids have been so insufferable so frequently for the same reason that I have been. The weather. They are fifty percent me, after all; why wouldn't they become halfway insane during the confining months of the year?

My point was proven today at the store. They smiled. They talked quietly. They mostly obeyed. Emmy asked for something once, and Grace sweetly said, "No, Emmy; remember if we ask for things we don't get ANYTHING." Emmy sang "Away in a Manger: The Heresy Version" ("the cow tul... are... Jesus...") while Grace muttered the correct lyrics to her, and this guy looked over and said, "Darned if that isn't the cutest thing I've ever seen," and it totally made my day. They are absolutely at their cutest when they're acting like this. It just kills me dead.

And I think it's the weather. They're aren't crazy defiant all of a sudden for the same reason that I'm not. Or maybe they aren't crazy defiant because I'm not. Or maybe both. Whatever. I'll take it. Because either way, it means skipping like fairies through pink and purple fields of happiness and probably also ponies.

I cleaned some more (hey, I've been borderline useless for the last week; there's a lot to do). The kids played nicely together. Mostly. There was only one tackling incident, but it may possibly have been an accident. No biting or hitting whatsoever, and napping like you would not believe. Also, I have suddenly lost three of the five extra pounds I gained during Inversion Month, and I'm okay with that.

I also undercooked our chicken today, that I had worked on all afternoon, and I still did not cry. I cut off the very cooked pieces and put the rest back in the over, and it was okay. Last week I would have cried.

So, thank you God for sending this weather. Everyone in a ten mile radius should also be thanking you. Especially the ones trapped in this house with me all day.

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

First World Problem

My favorite thing about this weather is the sudden flurry of productivity that happens around here. I was completely useless on Saturday and Sunday, but today I got home from the gym and spent the next four hours cleaning. The kids got in on it, too. I gave them some rags, and they went around the house cleaning baseboards. Well, Grace cleaned baseboards. Emmy alternated between getting in her way (doing just what Sister does means does JUST what Sister does, not the same thing five feet away) and wiping down random objects with her rag. The (clean) table. The carpet. Her (not clean anymore) face.

Around the kids, I try not to act like I hate housework when I do it. I usually don't hate it; it's not always fun, but it is satisfying. However, today it was FUN. It's hard to fake enjoyment when you're not really feeling it, but I don't want them to grow up thinking housework is something to be avoided and hated. It also helps them think that their own small chores are a privilege. I wonder how long that will last. So I plaster on a smile when I'm working and hope I'm not too phony.

But today it was a joy. Another sign that spring is coming.

I know the First World Problems jokes are probably getting old, but one of my favorites is rough toilet paper. We have to have the softest possible tissue to wipe our most disgusting body part, we sit on a porcelain receptacle made specifically for disposing of the most disgusting aspect of being human, and that just seems completely natural to everyone. Don't get me wrong. I will not be forfeiting my hex-ply toilet paper woven from unicorn fur and clouds, delivered to my store on the wings of baby cherubs. My hindquarters are tender.

But this just struck me the right way at the gym the other day. (The gym I go to because my day-to-day life is easy enough that I don't get enough exercise in working from sunup to sundown achieving basic survival.) I was all grumbly about the state of the scratchy toilet paper in this place when I realized how good I have it, just by not having to crouch in the brush and hope there's a leaf around suitable to the task.

So we went and bought toilet paper the other day (Costco had a deal), and it's Charmin ULTRA STRONG! toilet paper. Which just takes the whole thing from silly into completely absurd. What kind of Chuck Norris poop are talking about here? Is this a need that has not been met yet in the toilet paper industry? And how awkward do I need to feel when I drag my pallet of Charmin ULTRA STRONG! up to the counter? Do cashiers think about these things, too? Do they think, "Oh, ULTRA STRONG! You must be a hearty sort," or do they not notice at all? I almost hope they do notice and draw all kinds of hilarious conclusions based on what else is in your cart. We bought an economy size box of Kashi cereal and some OxyClean. I guess they will have fun with that one.

Friday, February 15, 2013

Spring! Almost!

Do you know what happens when you're stuck in your apartment for a month with sick babies and a sinus infection that just won't quit? Let me tell you.

1. Cabin fever. This winter so far was going really well. Most years, I turn into a homicidal maniac between late September and late March, but this year was great. My mood took a little downturn when fall started, but I didn't shake knives in anyone's face or strip naked and start a bonfire in the middle of the street. Then January happened. Oh, January. I hate you. I gained five pounds and lost a huge amount of endurance. And I've been prowling around the house snarling like a wolverine at anything that talks too loud or moves too much (also known as small children being normal small children).

2. The kids get mopey. My kids, like me, seem to need lots of sunshine and exercise to feel happy. They are like tiny Eeyores now.

3. The euphoria of relief is almost worth going through January. We are all better, for real this time. I think. Two days ago I was in such a great mood and couldn't figure out why. Then I realized that everyone was healthy, and it's starting to feel like spring. This wasn't an exceptionally good mood; this was normal for me. And it felt amazing.

I managed to do some form of exercise throughout this whole thing, just not as much as I'd have liked. I crave comfort foods during the winter, and there isn't much good produce in season anyway. But now I am just DONE with the comfort foods. The thought of them makes me want to gag. I don't even want to look at pasta. My Pinterest boards are full of recipes I have previously loved, but don't want to have anything to do with anymore (either because I'm sick of them, or because they're too wintery). Some of you gave me good ideas on Facebook yesterday, but feel free to give me some here, too. I know I'll feel even better when I start eating better.