Tuesday, October 18, 2011

I need a new name for Stompy Neighbors

So, here's a weird update:

1. We have become friends-ish with Stompy Neighbors. In fact Lady Stompy Neighbor is my new workout buddy. And she's kind of great.

2. Speaking of workouts, I have been getting up at 6:30 to go work out. ON PURPOSE.

I want to take this moment to thank Ambien for changing my life. This is not, for once, hyperbole.

I am still not a morning person. I still squeeze every last second out of the day that I can, and I'm still nervous to go to bed at night. It's so strange to turn out the light before I feel completely exhausted. And it's so strange to find myself falling sleep almost immediately anyway. At least six hours a night, but I'm slowly learning that I can go to bed sooner. And it's awesome.

Our house is endless frustration. We had a buyer, but she got cold feet. The sewer line needs to be replaced. I keep hoping for a tornado, but it hasn't happened yet. I'm tired of the whole thing, but surprisingly anxiety-free over it. We're not in danger of bankruptcy or homelessness or foreclosure. We're just not as close to a few of the things I've wanted (new mattress, bike trailer, recipes and cooking that are more fun). I know it's good for me to have to wait for things, but IDONTWANNA.

Jeremy is going to the Philippines in a while. He found out about this trip last month, then it got canceled, and now it's back on. He'll be gone for ten days. I'm excited for him, but not excited for him to be gone. The girls are always easier than I expect them to be when he's gone, but I never believe it'll happen again until he's gone and they're surprisingly pleasant. My brain is a strange, dim place.

And Grace. Well, I think every update over the last few months has made some mention of how she's suddenly done something great, but lately she's been surprising me even more. No shrinking at the door when we go to a friends house, no running screaming into her room if someone comes to ours. She says 'hi' to random people in the grocery store even if she's not confined within the safety of the shopping cart. She now asks for baths, instead of screaming through each and every one. And not only that, but she also dumps water on her head. Oh, and food? Emmy is now the picky one. So far, in the last week, Grace has tried everything we've told her to try. At first it was with much whining, but now she does it without complaint.

The other day we went to the park, and I looked away for five seconds, only to look back and see her halfway up the inclined ladder (it's been her nemesis since we moved here), quietly freaking out.

I helped her back down, impressed enough with her willingness to take a stab at it, and immediately she said, "You wanna go back up?" And she did. And I didn't even need to help her, except to cheer her on (or bully her on, which may sound cruel to an outsider, but I find I'm much more effective if I act like a drill sergeant sometimes). She still flips out near the top every time, but she also keeps going up it, over and over again, each time we go.

I'm sorry to brag every time I write, but sometimes being her mother has been very tough. It's hard not to worry when your child is terrified of everything and seems to acquire a new phobia every day. And all of a sudden, she's hurdling these fears one right after the other. It's such a relief. She's still more fearful than most kids, but my brain no longer gives me flashes of her at age 30 living in our basement, rocking in a corner and chewing on her shirt. It's pretty great. Now, if only our house would sell...