Thursday, November 28, 2013


No, I didn't misspell "whine," although I'm sure that's what you were thinking because it is, after all, what I do best.
I'm actually talking about wine.
I've never really been into wine. Before we moved out here, I didn't really have any friends that drank it, and the whole thing was just intimidating to me. And then I met Lindsay. She and her husband go to our church, and we hit it off. A little over a year ago, I started going over to her house once a week to do a little workout. At first it was just a fun thing, but it has now become almost sacred to me. We have even named it. Winercise. Because there's always a couple glasses of wine afterwards. It is literally the highlight of my week (not because of the wine, though that doesn't exactly hurt).
So, I've suddenly started drinking wine. Lots of different kinds of wine, and it's really fun. They no longer all taste the same to me. I recognize certain brands, and I have a good feel for what I like. It's kind of odd. I move to a state with insanely weird alcohol laws and become MORE interested in wine.
I still don't (and probably never will) know what all the words mean. Things like "fruity" are obvious, but "flamboyant"? What? Does my wine wear boas and dance across the kitchen counter? I don't understand.
So I think there's a real need here. Someone to review cheap wine (actually inexpensive, not "cheap," as in, "I accidentally spent all my cash on diamonds and cocaine, so all I have left is this $50 bill that I dug out of my limo cushion."). Someone who is unafraid to sound like a rube. Someone like me!
Every time I find a wine I really like or hate, I think I will post it here. Why? Because it's fun. Because decent wine isn't necessarily expensive. Because wine makes the heart glad.
When I pick out a bottle of wine, I look for two things. First, the price. I have my old standbys that are always under $10, even regular price. But I also keep an eye out for ones that are on clearance for under $10. Once I narrow it down to a handful, I look at the label. That's my second thing to look for. A fun label. Because nothing else on the label actually means anything to me. But if you take the time and care to create an interesting or beautiful label, I figure you have some kind of good taste.
My most recent favorite is 14 Hands Cabernet Sauvignon. I don't know what year. I'm sure it makes a difference, but all I know is I got this bottle of wine on clearance for $7, and it had horses on it, and it was delicious. Overall, cabernet is probably my favorite kind of wine. I don't like super dry wine, and I don't like most sweet wines. 14 Hands hits the sweet spot exactly. It's not sweet, but it is perfectly smooth. It's not flavorless, either. I have no idea what all those flavors are, but I can taste them, and they are interesting and good. Maybe someday I will be able to tell you if they are flamboyant or not.
Also, it has horses on the label. Enough said.
Now I'm kind of looking forward to finding a wine that's really disgusting. It's only happened a couple of times, but some wines are just so tongue-meltingly awful that I can't even wait to describe them.