Thursday, September 18, 2008

As I run screaming off the top of the white tower.

One of the nice side effects of having a huge belly is that it pulls all my love handles flat against my sides. I look skinnier from the front and back than I did pre-pregnancy. While I know that, after birth, it will all spring back and leave a tire around my middle, I'm enjoying it while it lasts. Some high school boys got a nasty surprise yesterday. I went for a walk in a dress (if the fabric's right, it's the most comfortable thing to wear).

(Well, I went for a shuffle/waddle. I don't really walk anymore. My leg muscles do not do the things they are supposed to, and when I try to make them, they punish me mercilessly. I've taken to signing emails to my mom as "the penguin".)

Anyway, here I am shuffling down the sidewalk, when a car driving up from behind starts honking. They go past just as I turn to look, and it was magnificent to see their leers turn into WTF? Suckas. That'll learn ya. But it was also flattering in a very perverse kind of way. I don't get leered at too often anymore.

Doctor appointment tomorrow. I'm kind of glad the baby hasn't come yet because I do have some last-minute questions that I want to ask before I'm trying to squeeze out a bowling ball. On the other hand, this does mean I'll be subject once again to some very painful poking and prodding.

I can blame that on the baby's giant head thunking ever so gently into my pelvis (yay, guys! aren't you glad you're reading?). She's been really fond lately of wiggling her head around, which feels AWESOME. That and caressing my bladder with her wee poky fingers.

One great thing about pregnancy is the free entertainment for one's spouse. James things I'm the cutest thing ever, which is good. I could have gotten a man who thought pregnant women were disgusting. We have a pretty noisy hallway and dining room on our first floor, and I thump around on it like a teetery T-rex. That's my quiet walk. When I have shoes on, I fully expect to fall through the floor.

Then there's the getting out of bed. I have several moments of panic every night when I wake up to a contraction and a full bladder. I am invariably lying with my back to the side of the bed, so not only do I have to worry about sitting up, but I also have to roll over first. I'm like a drunk turtle stuck on its back. When James is awake to see this, he thinks it's hysterical. He helps me, of course, but not without a healthy dose of the giggles. I don't blame him. I'd be giggling too if I weren't so worried about having an accident.

Enough with the pregnancy crap. It's the most amusing thing in my life right now, which is why I talk about it all the time. If I couldn't make it funny, I'd probably be crying. And if I didn't talk about it, you guys would get one-paragraph updates, mostly detailing the ever-increasing lengths and frequency of my naps, my housecleaning accomplishments, and lots of book reports.

I have a new show I like to watch. Fringe. I'm still withholding my verdict, but I think I like it. The first two episodes have seemed a little bit clunky, but I think I saw some improvement between the pilot and the second one. I love JJ Abrams, and I love freaky sciencey stuff, no matter how absurd it sounds.

It's like the X-Files with prettier people (Scully and Mulder being the exception, of course; no one is as pretty as those two) and better clothes and Denethor. Denethor! They certainly cast the crazy scientist perfectly. If the rest of the show sucked, I'd watch just for him. He's perfect in every way.

I think it's time to end this entry. James gets home in eight hours, and I haven't even had my first nap yet.

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