Saturday, July 19, 2008

Aaaaaaagh!

Those bleeding paint cards. I'd like to make them bleed.

Paint card: I AM A NICE, NATURAL SAND-ISH COLOR! I COMPLEMENT ANYTHING!

Reality: I'm 95 years old. I have six cats and live in a seaside condo in Florida. I have really tacky wicker furniture and eight different flavors of Metamucil. And I'm totally pink. A sandy shade of pink. But pink.

Paint card: I AM A DEEP, RELAXING MEDITERRANEAN BLUE! I AM RICH AND MELLOW AND BEAUTIFUL!

Reality: I'm a huge fan of primary colors (what's with that pink crap you're trying to hook me up with?). For this reason, I love Superman. In fact, I like to collect Superman suits. In fact, I have wallpapered one whole room with blue spandex. Wanna see?

Not cool. Not cool at all. And I can't paint my WHOLE HOUSE Toasty Grey.

Home Depot: Sucka. Now you have to come back and buy three new gallons of paint. EPIC FAIL.

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