Monday, October 4, 2010

Sleep is for people who like to be happy

I! Have! Been! Sleeping! A! Lot!

The night of my birthday, I popped a Unisom and went to bed around ten or eleven. Wonderful little Emmy woke up an hour early, or I would have gotten nine or ten hours of sleep.

She finally figured out how to get herself unstuck from a standing position. So she has been sleeping and napping like a decent, civilized baby the last two days. And not a moment too soon. I was thisclose to selling her (now she just needs to stop teething for five seconds, and she may survive to adulthood).

Sweet baby. I can't wait until you're old enough for hill people milk.

Anyway, oops! I forgot that a whole Unisom makes me utterly useless for the next fourteen or fifteen hours. I spent the morning after my birthday lolling about on the floor, couch, bed, using my body as a barrier across the more dangerous parts of the house and hoping that day wasn't the day Emmy learned to jump. Or fly.

Since then, I've taken half of one every single night around 8. I've gotten seven or more hours of sleep each night for the last week, and I feel FABULOUS. Like, this afternoon, I have so much energy that all I could do for the last hour was lie on the bed and wait for the twitching to stop. That might have been the third cup of coffee, though. I keep forgetting I don't need this much to function anymore.

House stuff is... coming along. Kind of. Ish.

We hauled a bunch of boxes over to our storage unit. Next step is getting rid of any furniture or items we can bear to part with. We have a toaster oven, a table, a bunch of chairs, and a microwave cart/cupboard that are much loved but no longer needed. The house already feels about half a room bigger, and I'm just getting started.

(Did I tell you about the Amish-made oak dining set my MIL passed on to us when she moved? It's the nicest thing I've ever owned, except for maybe my piano. I'm a little afraid of it. It's too nice for people like us.)

Still working on the peeling paint in the dining room. The trouble with this stuff is that it's hard to tell what paint is loose and what should just be left alone. Yes, we could just make a quick job of it, slap some paint on where it's peeling, and it would be good for a few months. But that seems so dishonest. With our accidentally pink walls, I'm sure any new owners would want to repaint.

Do you know how maddening it is to paint an entire room and then find out the people who painted before you did an awful job? No? Well, we do! And it's crazymaking. Especially when your baby is due in three weeks, and half the paint in the nursery has decided to strip itself off all the way down to the bare plaster.

Speaking of which, I should go work on that some more. If I do a little bit every day, I suppose it will eventually get done. When working on huge projects that are made up of many smaller projects, it helps me to develop tunnel vision. I have to trick myself. Telling myself I'm doing it for people I love doesn't work. Tell myself how happy I'll be once it's done doesn't work. No, the only think that really works is constantly lying to myself and pretending I only have three total minutes of work that needs to be done. It's like getting a toddler to pick up ALL the toys. For pretty much every household duty I ever do. My internal monologue for cleaning the messy kitchen after I've cooked dinner.

Okay, Naomi. Let's empty the drainboard! Okay? Now remember, you can quit anytime you want to! Just put a couple dishes away for now. Okay, goooood! Good girl! Yes, keep going! Gooood! Okay, now, fill up the sink with some hot water and put some soap in. All right, put some dishes in to soak. If you don't feel like washing them, we can just come back later, okay? All right. Now, while they're soaking, let's wipe up the counters. Good! Oh, look! The floor could use some sweeping. Let's just do that real quick. Excellent work! High five! Good! Oh, I bet those dishes have just about soaked themselves clean. Okay, great. Let's just wipe off the plates. Yes, anytime. You can quit anytime. You don't have to wash the dishes. Just walk away if you feel like it. Oh! Hey! The plates are done! And so are the bowls. Good. Now the silverware, and we're all done. How 'bout that? Yaaay! Good girl!

I so wish I were joking.


  1. This can also be said in other way that people sleeping the night which has no stress or tension. And hence they can be easily being sleep.

  2. Dear Spammer, I really wish I knew what that meant.

  3. Um, it sounds like English might be a second (or fifth) language Mr. or Mrs. Sex Toys.

    I totally do the same thing with projects that seem to have too many details involved. And for me, that includes pretty much every chore imaginable since I'm a detail oriented person rather than a big picture person. I'm surprised that you are the same way. I thought third borns were all big picture people.

  4. I'm fifth born. With a healthy dose of "only," since all my siblings are oooold (I hope they are reading this). It's a whole different kind of crazy over here.

    Also, you house is always clean when I'm there. Even when you're all, "Oh, my house is sooo messy!" You must be a really good cheerleader.