So I got the results on my MRI. It got kind of garbled, and I was of course a little freaked about being on the phone, but I'm 99% sure she said "tear on the labrum." Which is shorthand for, "If you ever want to swim again, brace yourself for surgery." Maybe she said "flair on the cadmium," which I would prefer.
This has thrown me into a bit of a funk. I've recently realized that I can't just have straightforward emotions. They come at me sideways. I don't feel worried or upset about my stupid shoulder. But I'm cranky and haven't been sleeping as well, for no apparent reason. It took me like three days to figure out that it was about the shoulder.
Shoulder. Shoulder. If you say it over and over again, it starts to sound like it comes from another dimension. Or that could be the Ambien. Because yes I am writing while on Ambien again. It's a trip. You should try it sometime. But only if you have a legal prescription.
Emmy has ratcheted up the turdliness to eleven lately. The problem with Emmy is that even while she's being wildly rebellious and irritating, she's so hilarious about it, you can't keep a straight face. I simultaneous want to sell her to circus people and squish her with hugs and cheek-pinchings.
"Emmy, get your socks and shoes on. We're leaving in five minutes."
She doesn't scream and throw a tantrum. No, she looks straight at you, makes a random animal noise, and then runs into another room, where you find her somersaulting naked except for her socks.
She also does have little mini-tantrums, but they usually end with her kicking/hitting something (mostly the piano bench leg, it's her favorite tantrum spot), and then crying because she's sure she broke her leg/foot/finger/hair. I enjoy natural consequences.
Jeremy was just gone for a week and a half. Best trip yet (for me), because both children can get themselves fully fed, dressed, teeth brushed, and buckled into their car seats without my assistance. I could just start sleeping in the van when it gets warm out and shout commands from the open window. Do you know how much sleep I would get then?
I started that as a joke, but I'm kind of considering it as a real experiment now.
So, his trip was not so bad. I have a few friends who really spoiled me, and the weather has been nice, and no one was sick. We stayed busy, and I didn't become an alcoholic.
Grace is turning into... I don't know. She is like two different people.
Alpha Grace is independent. She tries new things. She surprises me by recognizing new words, or eating raw vegetables. She leaps all over playground equipment and says hi to strangers. If she sees some kids at the playground she says, "Hey, look over there! Some friends!" even when she's never met them before.
Beta Grace is frustrated by everything. She tries two times, breaks into hysterical tears and says, "I CAAAAAAN'T!" and becomes completely irrational for the next ten minutes. It's like she's on a highly restricted medication I don't remember ever giving her.
I am hoping that it was just the turmoil of Jeremy being gone and then coming back; she's not usually this extreme. I think she may also be tired. Emmy likes to climb into bed with her, which, as you can imagine, is not as welcome as Emmy expects it to be. So neither of them really sleep. The night owl keeps the morning person up at night, and the morning person wakes the night owl way too early. It's ever so much fun, and I can't wait to find a rental house.