Tuesday, March 23, 2010


Let me explain something here. I don't find it funny that some people don't want kids. I have no problem with that. Frankly, if more people were honest with themselves about their readiness for parenthood or their lack of desire for children, we'd probably have a lot fewer miserable families out there. Ten years of waitressing may have made me a little cynical, but I saw way too many parents who *never should have had children, and way too many sweet children who would probably grow up to be criminals or sociopaths. Not that I think surprise babies are all doomed. James and I had TWO surprise babies (yes, we DO know how that happens, thank you!), and we love them both to pieces. Of course, we did want kids; it's just that we were planning on waiting a leetle bit longer.

Neither do I find it funny that there's a significant number of people out there who hate me and my progeny just for existing. Well, it's funny in a black humor kind of way, but it's not something I can laugh at lightheartedly. You don't have to like kids or want to be a parent (heck, I didn't like kids until I was in my 20s, and I'm still a little befuddled around most children). But such bitterness is really disturbing. It must be exhausting to hate such a huge segment of the population.

*This was VERY poorly phrased. I hope no one took it the way it appears. I do not think that any of these kids should never have been born. I do, however, think that the parents of many kids are not cut out to be parents. And I'm not talking just subpar parenting. I mean the people who take their children to a restaurant, seat them at a separate table, ignore them the whole time and expect the waitstaff to parent them, then explode when the children finally act up enough that it does bother them. Which is even more of a shame because they're teaching their kids that the only way to get attention from mom or dad is to misbehave. And they're teaching them that negative attention is a good thing and that the way to handle adversity is to become enraged. They're teaching them that continually giving into one's natural selfishness is a perfectly acceptable way to live.

No, what I find funny is the warped logic on this forum. Example:

Breastfeeding is disgusting! Ew, human fluids!

But cow's milk? TOTALLY OKAY.

Also, anyone who depends on the state to feed their children is scum. Nevermind that formula is insanely expensive, and breastfeeding eliminates the need for it.

If you absolutely must nurse your child, do it at home. We don't want to see it. Or hear it. It's too noisy (and bottle feeding TOTALLY isn't).

But I'm going to tear you apart for being dumpy and frumpy and never leaving your house once you have children. (do they not know that it's sometimes MONTHS before a baby can eat any faster than 30-60 minutes at a time, and that babies need to eat about every 3 hours?)

Oh, and parents are selfish for never volunteering (but still, don't leave your house with your kids or to nurse your kid; we don't want to see them or THAT) or donating. So, in the 1 remaining waking hour you have that isn't spent at work or feeding your kid, you should volunteer or you're selfish.

Parenting is easy. Stop whining. You chose to have kids, so you're NEVER EVER allowed to complain AT ALL (have these people never complained about their jobs or housework or husbands or wives or girlfriends or boyfriends?).

Oh my gosh I would kill myself if I had kids. The sleepless nights, the constant attention children require. What a nightmare.

Stop whining. And look decent for a change. You look so tired and bedraggled. Gross.

My other favorite: It's irresponsible to have children because they're a drain on the economy and environment.

First, what kind of workforce will there be in 30 years if no one has any more children? Forget Social Security (a failing system anyway, and you're insane if you think it'll be worth anything by the time we're old); what able-bodied people will be left to support an aging population of childfree people? None. At least some of the CFers are consistent in that they think the human race should die out. I disagree, of course, but at least they're consistent.

Second, adoption is great, and it's a terrible shame there are so many parentless children out there, especially in such a wealthy country. But it's prohibitively expensive, even if you don't go through an agency, even if it's done directly from birth parent to adoptive parent. And foster care is wonderful (hi, sister!), but an emotional roller coaster.

Third, have you SEEN what kinds of people are having hordes of children? Again, maybe ten years of waitressing has made me cynical, but based on that experience, I conclude that for every one child raised by good parents, we have five raised by inattentive, neglectful, indulgent, or abusive parents. We NEED more responsible people to have more children, or it really will be Idiocracy in a few decades.


  1. Could not agree more! Have you seen the documentaries "Demographic Winter" or "Demographic Bomb"? Oh my...you would dig those for sure.

  2. You popped out a fleshloaf. You share a bond with rabbits. So people who don't have kids are bad and most other parents are not as good as you. Get over yourself breeder!

  3. Amen, Naomi! Those spouting bile about parents/kids/anyone who doesn't hate kids have something big missing from their lives.