Thursday, August 13, 2009

Safety is overrated.

We are FINALLY getting around to doing a little babyproofing. I mean, I'd moved all the dangerous chemicals out of The Child's immediate reach (though I have no doubt she'll be quite able to scale the refrigerator by the time she's 2), and anything breakable is out of her reach (again, scaling bookshelves in no time, I'm sure). But I hadn't put anything on the cabinets in the kitchen, and we never do plan to completely babyproof. I like my books and bookshelves within easy reach, and she is perfectly capable of learning what is off limits. She already has, in fact. (please note: this does NOT mean she doesn't sneak off to the bookshelf once in a while because she does, and then she looks over her shoulder at me with a sly little devil grin, and it is VERY hard for me not to laugh and encourage that behavior)

So, with the new one coming, I decided it was in my best interest to make SOME things, at least, a little harder to get at. I started installing "childproof" latches on the kitchen cabinets a few days ago, and I finished up today.

Dear Safety 1st,

Photobucket

USER FRIENDLY FAIL


Love,
A Very Frustrated Parent

It's enough to make a mom booze it up while The Child gets herself stuck in the slow cooker.

Granted, this may have been a whole lot easier if we owned a drill, but people, not all parents own drills. Now, though, I would probably sell The Child for a good drill set. This is home project #98372 for which I've had to install screws in something without a drill, and I have had enough.

It does not help that The Child did her absolute best to "help" me do the installation. Mostly this involved shimmying up my backside and grabbing for the hammer (or screwdriver or latch or whatever shiny, dangerous object happened to be closest) and breathing strangely in my ear. I keep saying I'll do it while she's napping, but it seems like such a waste to spend her naps working. That's my lunch break, yo!

Silver lining: My arm and shoulder muscles are BULGING.

2 comments:

  1. PREACH IT, SISTA!

    Those things are awesome in theory. They are, however, too short for the four drawers in the baby's actual dresser - the fronts of the drawers are thick enough and set up in such a way that if I installed the locks, I'd never be able to get them open. So, he can still open all four drawers and remove clothes at will.

    They also don't work for the entertainment center thing we're using as an armoire for him, because the drawers don't have dividing horizontal thingies, which means you'd have to install each lock on the bottom of the drawer above it, so that if you pulled one drawer, potentially they would all open at once.

    FURTHERMORE... like you said. Screwing them in... ow, bicep. bleeeeeeeah.

    Our ultimate solution was to buy locks for the cabinets that meet under sinks (where the two knobs are close together so you attach them to each other) and keep everything truly harmful in only those cabinets.

    Sigh.

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  2. *How* did you convince your little one that off-limits means off-limits? We never did manage that. Distract? Not that one. One-track mind. Remove from situation? See above. Too young for time-outs, etc. We ended up coming up with an oh-so-clever design that involved screwing little bracket things into the sides of our bookshelves and sliding plexiglass behind them to prevent her taking all the books out and ripping them to shreds. Worked wonderfully. But, then, we had a drill.

    You should keep an eye on Slickdeals, maybe a good deal will show up. I can't imagine not having a drill (although my husband also can't imagine not having a circular saw, wet saw, multiple lengths of levels, a zillion screwdrivers, hammers, boxes and bins of nails and screws and random little metal things, and... well, you get the picture. A pain to store, but they do make for some pretty impressive home improvement projects.

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