Saturday, January 3, 2009

Joining the polar bear club.

If I ever again have a three-month-old, and if I ever again say, "We go to Indiana this week. I'm much more excited about it than I was last week," (see last entry) I want one of you to come over here and club me senseless until I need to be hospitalized for the duration of said trip to Indiana.

1: Indiana; Illinois, too, but mostly Indiana because at least Illinois has Chicago. Indiana just has Gary, which plasters cheerful greetings to highway drivers all over the big rusty tanks at the water treatment facility. Which is like me painting "Welcome to our home" on my dirty toilet bowl. I'm talking here about the northern part of those two states, so don't get your undies all in a bunch if you live in Beautiful Southwestern Indiana or wherever. Northern Illinois and Indiana have maybe six hills between them. Which is great if you're watching the horizon for an invasion, not so great if you'd like to drive in a straight line without the wind rolling your truck. Or if you'd like to stay awake at the wheel.

2: The Child. I don't think I've ever seen her so utterly miserable. She was a real trooper. She was. But around hour four (going both ways), she began to come unraveled. There is some consolation, however: Her fine motor skills are improving; she has learned how to remove her pacifier from her mouth with her hand, not just her tongue. My poor brother-in-law only made two or three jokes about throwing her out the window. He could justifiably have made more. And I would have laughed. Maniacally. She wasn't like this the whole time, but when she was, she was exhausting. We got home and threw her in the bathtub, and she Did Not Appreciate That.

Which brings me to Awesome Thing Number Three from This Weekend; even though it has nothing to do with Indiana, I'm blaming Indiana anyway:

3: Our water heater stopped working while we were gone. James is down there trying to light the pilot light with incense sticks because our long lighter isn't long enough and our useless Wal-mart doesn't sell superlong matches. I haven't heard any cursing, but I imagine he's weeping by now. I would be.

The Child is asleep now. She has been for a while. I promised her she wouldn't ever have to see the inside of a car seat for a week. But then I remembered about church. I also remembered my earlier vow to strap her in the stupid thing for ten minutes a day whether we went anywhere or not. So Mommy is a liar.

We did have a great time once we got to where we were going, but I won't ever do that again without a van. Or possibly a bus.

No luck with the water heater. It will either be a chilly morning or a very greasy morning tomorrow. I can't decide which I prefer.

Update: It is fixed! Joys!

No comments:

Post a Comment