I just downloaded Firefox 3. It's a thing of beauty. My favorite thing is that problem pages now load before I can even blink. Oh, Firefox. I forgive you for all your spelling foibles.
If you're on facebook, you've been privy to my last couple status updates.
I got home on Friday night around 11. James was out with friends. I walked in, took off my shoes, started looking forward to a couple hours of reading some new books and lounging around before he got back home.
Then something big and dark started zipping across my kitchen floor. It's a good thing James wasn't home, or the neighbors might have taken the hysterical NO NO NO OH NO NO NO DON'T NO DON'T as their cue to call the cops on him. I started looking for things with which to kill the largest arachnid ever to set foot in Wisconsin, and all I could find was James's size 13 shoe. It's a heavy, large shoe. It's good for killing things when you have terrible aim.
I chucked that puppy (more like a full-grown mastiff, given the size of his feet) at Shelob, it landed flat on top of her with a good loud whump, and then it bounced off. Bounced. Like she was made of rubber. Or steel. She paused briefly, then kept walking. Like maybe a slight breeze had just blown across her back, and she was only stopping long enough to enjoy wind up her skirt.
No, she didn't walk. She zoomed. Under my couch. My couch where I was going to enjoy my new books. My couch where I like to sit. My couch where sometimes I have to open the window above it, and my toes slip under the little flap of fabric that hangs down to the floor. My toes. Fleshy toes, with tasty veins.
I don't really know what to do. She's under there, biding her time. I sit at my kitchen table (it's right next to the couch) and prop my feet up on the chair next to me. Every ten minutes I glance around the living room. Sometimes I snap my head up, just to be sure (in the movies, no one ever looks up until it's too late and the thing already has them by the eyeballs). I won't go out into the living room unless the lights are on. Eventually, I'll have to let go of my vigilance or die from exhaustion. And that's when she'll climb in my ear and suck my brains out.