Microwave my baked potato!

Actual conversation today between me and a customer who smelled strongly of pot:

Microwave Man: Excuse me, miss? Do you have a microwave here?
Me: Uh, no, I'm sorry. What for?
MM: Well, my baked potato is cold. You don't have a microwave?
Me: No, but I can go get a mana--
MM: No, I need to reheat my baked potato. It won't even MELT. BUTTER.
Me: Well, we don't have a microwave. I'm sorry. As I was saying--
MM: (frothing a bit at the mouth now) No, I need a microwave! How can getting a manager help me? I can't believe you guys don't have a microwave!
Me: (plowing on through even when he interrupts me repeatedly and raising my voice in increments just to make sure he hears me) I can get a manager to check the temperature ON THE POTATOES AND IF THEY'RE ALL COLD, WE CAN GET ANOTHER BAATCH OUUUT, OOOOKAAAAY?
MM: I just don't see how that helps me.

He then huffed away, all in a frenzy about the microwave. All through this conversation, his tone of voice told me that it was most definitely my fault that there was no microwave, and that I, the lowest on the totem pole in the entire restaurant, could most certainly do something to remedy that if I actually wanted to help him. You know, like, run over to Target and buy one with my tip money. Or something. Apparently he also had this exact same conversation with two of my coworkers.

Methinks he was just trying to get a free meal. You know, if he complains enough about the food, he can claim he should get a refund. Happens all the time with people. And then they get their panties in a twist when we actually check the temperature on the food because, duh, there's steam rising from the very pan of food that you claim is cold.

My theory is that he got his food, went out to smoke a joint, and then when he came out, his potato has gotten cold. I mean, who gets that worked up over a baked potato?

This is why I love my job. There are so many crazy people, and I get to see it all. For FREE, people.