Friday, September 9, 2011

Holy Cows

My goodness. Three nights of real sleep, and I feel amazing. I'm starting to think all my issues were a result of sleep deprivation. Now I'm hoping that my thyroid levels come back normal. I've lost like two pounds since I started taking the Ambien, and my heart doesn't sink down into my toes when my kids wake up in the morning, and I don't feel like snapping everyone's heads off with my bare hands just for existing, and I want to write love sonnets to that nurse practitioner.

I knew my sleep was bad, but it must have been even worse than I'd realized. Each night I've taken the Ambien, I've woken up between 5 and 6 for some strange reason and haven't been able to get back to sleep for quite a while. But I still get up in the morning rested and ready to go.

Some people are anti-drug because they're not natural, because God didn't make them. Well, I say that God made people with gigantic brains who grow up to be scientists who create amazing things like Ambien. I know it's not a great drug for everyone, but so far it's been wonderful for me. No weird behavior, no insane dreams (well, no more than I normally have), no hangover in the morning or new appendages. It's great if you don't want to ingest chemicals and drugs; we attempt the same rather half-heartedly, within our limited budget and lack of gardening space. I've tried all the natural remedies for insomnia, and all of them have failed.

I'm not actually directing this at any of you; it's been certain other people in my life who kind of look down on others who turn to chemicals to sold these problems. Sometimes it's necessary, friends. Three days, and I'm already a new person (actually, I was a new person on the first day). I wasn't depressed, but I was definitely not right. I'm still a bit nervous, but only when I'm with people I don't know very well. I don't feel like something is hanging over me.

Alas, I know that some people can develop a tolerance to Ambien. One of my Facebook friends suggested... L-thiamine? I-thiamine? I'm not sure which. I'm too lazy to go check. Does anyone know anything about this? I don't know what I'll do if I go back to the horrible no sleeping thing, so I'd like to have some backups in place.

Anyway, this is today's PSA: Never underestimate the power of sleep deprivation. The thing that makes it so evil is that you don't realize how badly it's affecting you until you're out of it. Wow.


  1. I've been "on" ambien for about a year now and so far, I'm still at 2.5 mg and no tolerance has built up. Don't assume that will happen! Glad things are getting better. I may have to reassess your personality, though (super laid back to the point of being couch-happy? was SLEEP deprivation!!). Hmmm....

  2. So glad it's been working for you!

  3. Thiamine is Vitamin B1. Don't know how well that would work on sleep problems, unless you are deficient somehow. That's something to ask the Nurse Practitioner.

  4. I was taking a B vitamin for a while. It gave me a good energy kick for a while, and then I'd end up jittery for the rest of the day, no matter what I ate or didn't eat. So weird. It worked really well for a while and then didn't. I wish I knew why.