Saturday, June 5, 2010

The funniest person ever

I have a problem. The problem is my face.

Have any of you ever been flipping through a beauty magazine and stumbled across an article on how to choose the correct shape of frames or necklines or hairdos for your face shape? And the three options are oval, heart-shaped, and square? And the shapes look roughly like this:

Head Shapes

Mine kind of looks like this:

My Head

(Sister Dear, yes, I know you jaw is squarer than mine, but you have a fun hairline with a widow's peak to make it look good. All I have is forehead, acres and acres of forehead. With almost-bald spots at my temples where my hair is really fine and wispy, which is really cute on a toddler, but I'm 27.)

They don't sell glasses for women with faces like this, people. In fact, I found my last pair in the men's section.

So, I've been putting off getting new glasses for about four years now. The pair I found way back then was perfect for my face and I haven't found any like it since.

I eventually broke when my glasses got so scratched that putting them on almost made my vision worse. I was aggravated.

And the only place even remotely close to us that took our insurance was the Wal-mart vision center. Wal-mart. I was pretty sure I'd only find glasses like this:

Instead, I found these:

Oh, PhotoBooth. I love you and your crappy, flattering photos. Did you know that the one other picture of me in existence that I do not hate is also grainy? Hmmmm.

These glasses are almost identical to my old ones, only more flattering. It's a Christmas miracle! I love these glasses beyond all reason.

Also, I can see again. I suppose that's kind of cool, too.

I should mention that I recently discovered the funniest person on the Internet: Hyperbole and a Half. She does a lot of entries with lots of paint pictures, so it might look like I'm stealing ideas from her.

A) I'm not very good at Paint, whereas she is.
B) I've done entries before using Paint, but my Mac didn't have an equivalent program until now, which is why I haven't.
C) She inspired me to find a Mac Paint program so that I can go back to doing really crappy photo editing and diagrams for my entries.

Just so we're clear.


  1. That's so funny, I didn't connect your post on the boards about wanting a good Mac Paint program with your post about discovering Hyperbole and a Half. I do love the site! It's hilarious! She actually says on the site that she doesn't consider using Paint and making funny pictures to be stealing ideas, as long as you don't try to copy her actual drawings! :) Hers are so expressive, it's really neat.

    And I'm glad you found some glasses you like! I think they're cool. Can you get a second pair now, or does that not work, insurance-wise? I guess they'd only be useful as a spare pair, though, since you might need a new prescription before the time comes to wear them if you try to save them. I have the same shape face as you do. My problem with glasses (from when I used to wear them) or sunglasses, though, is my nose. Something's weird about the bridge of it, or something, so that glasses always sit too close to my face on one side and too far from it on the other side.

  2. Glasses can be tough. I am so loving this rectangular shape trend in glasses, though. Yours look great on you. Even though my face shape is oval (or perhaps even a bit round), rectangular glasses look awesome on me, too.

    In fact, everyone I know has rectangular glasses (some rounded, some more angular), and they all look great! I hope the trend never dies out. I live in fear of having 80s style eyeglasses come back in style - I've seen pictures of my mom and my aunts from then, and it's not pretty.