Okay. So today was possibly one of the best days I have ever had. You think I exaggerate. I don't.
The only bad thing that happened to me today is that I found out I'm still not dilated at all.
1) I found out I can get this irritating mole removed for free when I have the baby. I know it's normal for moles and things to grow during pregnancy, but this thing was beginning to alarm James, so I asked about it. He said it was nothing to worry about, but if I wanted they could just zip it off while I'm in the hospital. Free cosmetic surgery for the win!
2) Free crib. I had to drive a ways to get it, and I had to disassemble it halfway to fit it in the car, but still. Free crib! With mattress!
3) We got this (free) queen size headboard and frame a while back and installed it in our bedroom, planning to just sleep in the guest room on the full-size mattress until we could afford a queen set. Well, my friend called me up (hereafter referred to as Awesome Friend, unless I can find where I've mentioned her elsewhere and update accordingly) and said this lady in her office was selling a hardly-used queen mattress set for $20. I had been adamant that we not buy a used set, but Awesome Friend personally vouched for this lady's cleanliness ("She smells like Tide!"), and I took her word for it. I trust her because she is Awesome Friend.
Today was the day she and her husband were to come by with the mattress set. She called me up around 4:30 and said, "Um. Sandy got all the stuff out of storage for her garage sale, and it turns out they don't have a queen mattress set after all." Oh crap. In an effort to hide extreme disappointment, I just said, "Oh!" Awesome Friend said, "But they do have a king-size set." I said, "Oh. Oh!" The best part is that, while slightly oversized, it works with our queen headboard. We got a king-sized bed. By accident. For $20. Unbelievable. James and I checked it out a few minutes ago. I laid on one side and he on the other, and we shouted and waved at each other. We need a couple of megaphones. And telescopes. And possibly a golf cart.
4) Awesome Friend and I went outside while our menfolk wrestled the mattress upstairs. She opened the back of her car and said, "Oh! What's this doing here?"
And then I fell over and died.